Mom Doesn't Force Her Popular Daughter To Include Her Lonely Younger Sister, Dad Gets Angry At Her Parenting Decision

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 3, 2023 2:00 PM EST

High school is one of the most challenging periods of your life, especially socially. I tried my darndest to make and keep friends when I was 13-18, but it was not easy, even in my class of 700+ kids. I was never so desperate I had to eat lunch in the toilet stall, but one year, I did eat lunch in the Emergency Exit stairwell, which is less gross but equally sad. 

One of the biggest lessons I learned in high school is that if you languish in friendlessness and don't do anything to try and branch out, nobody is going to solve that problem for you. It's a harsh reality to face, especially for kids who are socially awkward and shy, but it's the truth nonetheless. Still, it helps to have some compassionate people in your life to help make that process easier. A mom recently went viral on Reddit for telling her older popular daughter she doesn't need to invite her younger unpopular daughter to have lunch with her, and Redditors feel pretty conflicted regarding whether she's the bad guy. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Ok-Combination7341 • 2d AITA for siding with my daughter that she doesn't need to invite her sister to the "popular table" Not the
    via u/Ok-Combination7341
  • 02
    Both of my daughters are in highschool, my oldest (Cindy) is 16 and my youngest (Emily) is 14. Now Cindy is quite popular, she is on the volleyball team and has a huge friend group. My youngest isn't very popular and her friend (Beth) is her main friend or ex friend. It also doesn't help that she is into hobbies most other high schoolers don't care about.
    via u/Ok-Combination7341
  • 03
    Emily and Beth got into a fight and Beth is not speaking to her anymore. She is sitting alone at lunch now. This came out yesterday and my husband wants Cindy to invite her to sit with her group of friends at the "popular table". Cindy refused saying she doesn't want to do that.
    via u/Ok-Combination7341
  • 04
    My husband was mad but when he tried to get me to back him up I told him Cindy has ever right to not want her little sister in her friend group. That you can't do that do her and Emily needs to make her own friends. My husband is I at me and Cindy. Emily is super upset that she doesn't have people to eat with and I am wondering if I made the right call or if I am being a jerk.
    via u/Ok-Combination7341
  • 05
    Edit: common questions be I know I have a lot of comments. Hobbies- knitting, tree shaping. She quit art club, I have tried multiple time to get her into clubs (she quits usually) Oldest just doesn't want her to invite her to her table, the my have a good relationship in general.
    via u/Ok-Combination7341
  • 06
    HeirOfRavenclaw • 2d Supreme Court Just- [125] ΝΤΑ You're right in that Emily needs to find her own way and get her own friends. Also it's weird that you spelled Emily three different ways in this post. ... Reply 12.4K
    via u/HeirOfRavenclaw
  • 07
    Ok-Combination7341 OP. 2d Thank you for pointing that out, I used fake names. I'll edit that to make it match ... 5.3k
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  • 08
    Aylauria • 1d Professor Emeritass [91] Perhaps Emily is suffering from depression or other something that she might need help with? Also, while I generally agree that it's not a good idea to force kids to include their younger sister, it wouldn't kill Cindy to be kind to Emily and maybe sit with her once in a while. Finally, the tone of the post reads suspiciously between the lines like Cindy is the golden child and Emily is the weird one who gets little to no attention or care bc she doesn't fi
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  • 09
    lydriseabove 1d. Even referring to the table Cindy sits at as "the popular table" is very immature and speaks volumes on how the OP personally feels about her daughters' respective hobbies. OP is definitely feeding into it and clearly has a favorite. 677
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  • 10
    Leornado10 • 2d NTA; And I know what it feels like, my parents made me do it. My brother had less friends than me, and my father forced me to eat with him every day. Of course, I'd gather some friends to the table. They were nice to my brother, but weren't more interessed with him since we had a few years age difference. My brother always tried to bring attention on him, and was angry when I wouldn't do something with him in public. My friends made me understood that his presence was not appreci
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  • 11
    pizzasauce85. 2d My older sister and I barely acknowledged each other when we went to the same school. It helped that we had different last names and didn't look alike until you saw us next to each other. We had different school activities so never socialized that way. Some of my friends didn't even know she was my sister until we hung out at homecoming or when she came up at lunch to swap books we were reading. It wasn't out of hatred or meanness, she was two grades above me with different type
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  • 12
    Applesbabe 2d Aficionado [10] · While your husbands intentions are good he clearly doesn't understand how teenage girls work. Forcing your Claire to invite Emily to the popular table will not gain her friends or make her feel welcome. In fact, it would probably make the situation worse. This is something that Emily is going to have to work out on her own as painful as that is to watch. Reply ... 3.5k
    via u/Applesbabe
  • 13
    pervdurabo. 2d It can be a pretty good life lesson to sit alone and learn to be comfortable with it. If she does her own thing then other introverts will join, she's probably not the only person with no one to sit with ... ↑ 712 ↓
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  • 14
    Dan-D-Lyon • 2d Sitting alone at lunch in high school isn't a good life lesson. It's its own circle of hell. ... +375 +
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  • 15
    suzazzz 2d ● Exactly! What kind of "popular" people are such that they would be mean to their "friend's"little sister? Sounds to me like the life lesson that needs learned is how to be kind and present when someone you love needs you. ... 128
    via u/suzazzz
  • 16
    Due_Emergency4031 • 2d She doesn't have to*, but a level headed teen sometimes might choose to occasionally include their younger sibling to make them feel better *if* they care and love the said sibling. A simple gesture now and then can make a world of difference. So what if your oldest is at a *popular table* thats the lamest thing and cringiest at that. Prioritising your superficial standing over feelings of your own sister.
    via u/Due_Emergency4031
  • 17
    No your eldest doesn't *have to* do anything, really, your youngest does need to come out of her shell. But its kinda hard when shes already isolated and even HER OWN sister avoids her at school. That too builds a certain image and she will never integrate, cause who would want a reject that even her family is ashamed of. Would it hurt her eldest sister to show support by sitting with her twice a week at lunch? Nope. But again, she doesn't *have to* do anything she doesn't want.
    via u/Due_Emergency4031
  • 18
    I do question rationale, lack of empathy and why they dont like each other. Or is it one sided? There's nothing THAT embarrassing to stand by your sibling and say to your friends, hey im keeping my lil sis company today so ima sitting over there today, her friend and her had a falling out so im cheering her up. If shes in the group of friends that would make fun of that etc, id question what kinda people shes hanging around with to skew morals that far off. I see this behaviour mostly in preteen
    via u/Due_Emergency4031
  • 19
    excaliber2022 • 2d I can't believe how far I had to scroll down to find this. I think op should try and raise her older daughter with some compassion. Here is a thought. Why doesn't the older sister go and sit with her younger sister (without her popular friends) just to give her sister some support. Seems like op favors her popular daughter. I wonder if she would be ok if the roles were reversed YTA op and your popular daughter. 4716 ...
    via u/excaliber2022
  • 20
    Sunflour 13. 2d I appreciate this angle. My sister is two years older than me and was way more popular than me growing up. She was a cheerleader and that was her click, I struggled to fit in with the other band nerds. We didn't hang out at school, and I'm glad for that. Her friends would've made me miserable. But walking into school together, stopping to talk when we ran into each other, or her sometimes going out of her way to say hi to me made a HUGE difference. So many first conversations wit
    via u/Sunflour13
  • 21
    All DawgsGoToDevin • 2d Must be a ton of teenagers in here giving advice. YTA. You don't have to force your one daughter to accept your other daughter into her friend group. You are correct. But how do you not see the bigger issue? You have a daughter who is lonely and isolated. You have another daughter who apparently shows absolutely no empathy towards her own sister. I had varying relationships with each my siblings but one thing I can guarantee you is that I wouldn't have let any of them sit
    via u/AllDawgsGoToDevin

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aita popular sisters reddit story lunch parenting high school popularity sister parent Reddit mom Parenting Fail immature high schoolers parents Parenting FAILS
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